Sunday, 22 July 2012

Getting into gear

Well it seems that I have been on a minor blogging hiatus.

I have so many half finished posts that I just don't know where to start. So much I want to write about but then I keep changing my mind. And if I'm honest there is something bothering me. I just need to write it and move on.

In 6 weeks time I am due to go back to work. I worry every day about my little babies being without me but then I feel bad for wanting to write about it because, let's be honest, they aren't exactly babies anymore. I'm an attachment parent (if a label is needed) and I'd love to stay at home with them all the time - our lives seem so idyllic now but I have had a year off so it's time to face the music.

Before I had Freddy I was a career woman. Then I met my husband and everything fell into place. I finally found out what is important in life, what makes me happy, what I need and what I can give. He taught me so much about shaping one's own life and about how there is never a better time than right away to do something that you have always dreamed about.
We started our family and I took 2 years maternity leave, 1 for Freddy and 1 for Henry with just a few months of working in France in between. Since then we have been working hard to find out what our dreams are for our family and starting to put them into place. That's why this seems like such a difficult moment for me. Because going back to work (even though it won't be for very long) is not what I have been dreaming about. But it does fit in with our longer term plan which you will soon see I hope :)

I am not the type of person to have to go to work for my own sanity or in search of adult conversation - I am quite happy at home with my babies and my husband. I am never ever bored. I have a million projects and business ideas in my head that I want to try and the full support of my husband to do them. So why am I going back to work?
let's hope that by writing this I can remove the mental blockage that has been clogging up my mind and normal service can once again resume.

Thank you for bearing with me :)

5 comments:

  1. Back to work... Ah well, I do hope you will still find it full-filling and that the boys will enjoy the new life-style :)
    I'd be interested to know the answer to "why am I going back to work?" I am, myself, not planning on finding a job any time soon maybe "just" studying again after baby n.2 (mostly because ive always wanted to do a PhD)... so yeah wondering what are other women's motivations :)

    Lovely toy that Henry has by the way! Home-made?

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    1. Oh Fred I'm afraid I already know that it will not give me any feeling of fulfillment. Alas it is purely a financial decision but one that will help up to move a step closer to our dream of starting our own little community somewhere (shhh it's a secret). x

      Isn't the car lovely! It is indeed homemade but not by us. It was at the industrial museum that we visited last week.

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    2. hmmmm it really is no fun when the decision is prompted by financial needs. Things will be ok though, I'm sure! and I see below that you hope it will only be for 6 months, so as we say in French "Bon courage et hauts les coeurs!" :) You will manage and will be very happy afterwards when you manage to get closer to your big project!

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  2. I empathise. Although I would prefer to be at home, it really is ok. Especially when it is short-term. I just say to myself "its not about me, its about the family" and that helps. Perhaps it will be ok for you too. Enjoy the last few weeks

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    Replies
    1. I'm sure it will be ok. I hope it will be for no more than 6 months so it's really not too bad but I just keep thinking that I wish I didn't have to. I a saying exactly the same thing to myself as you!

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